Grace Based Families

I sat at the Oak Hills main campus this week for Sunday service and listened to Dr. Kimmel speak about a grace based family and knew I had to share this message with all of you.  It spoke to my heart and made me pray for God's forgiveness in my failures as a parent and offer thanks that despite my lack of grace I have an awesome family.

There are four freedoms that a grace based family provides the people they love, the first is the freedom to be different.  Yes our children will often want to do things that we don't agree with and grace is required to allow them to do things that they feel help them express themselves.  We as parents should provide guidance but not the kind that starts with outright no's with no explanation or reason.  Train a child in the way he should go doesn't mean make excuses and deprive our children of the freedom to learn from their own decisions.

Second, the freedom to be vulnerable, is one that is difficult for most of us as we want to  protect those we love and therefore stand in the gap every chance we get.  But God allows us the vulnerability of not interfering with every aspect of our lives and so too we must learn to stand back and allow those we love to experience the vulnerability of life's challenges.  Trust God to watch over them and allow them to experience life even when it makes them vulnerable.

Thirdly, be candid and speak your mind with love and grace.  Don't make excuses or create non existent biblical support for your position but rather be vulnerable and state your fears.  Your love one's will better understand your position if you tell them the truth about how you feel about what is taking place in their lives.  Our unwillingness to be vulnerable often leads to a lack of grace and decisions that are more our reality than that of the love one we are addressing.

Finally, we must be graceful in allowing our loved ones to make their mistakes without reacting unkindly.  I have messed this one up too many times with my friends, children and my lovely wife.  Oh, how this one makes me cry for forgiveness.  Our loved ones will make mistakes, yes even after we warned them not to do something and they do it anyway.  It is in this time that we must demonstrate the Grace of God, showing understanding, compassion, and love.  How can we not, given the reality that our heavenly father has provided us with his grace and forgiveness.  Yes discipline and correction are a form of God's grace, but so his forgiveness and compassion. Remember Romans 5:8, but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Praise God!

These four freedoms remind us of God's willingness to give us the freedom to choose, let us do the same for those we love.  Just a little advise to go!

Positive Choices

Sadly the more I speak to people about their challenges, the clearer it becomes that we are focused on the negative experiences of life and not on the positive.  It is too easy to let the enemy draw our attention away from God's blessings which is precisely why we must be engaged in an intimate and passionate relationship with Jesus.  He knows our needs and is more than willing to meet them, to help us rejoice, and to ensure that we have reason to celebrate rather than complain.

Ralph Marston writes about Positive Choices:

• You can choose to be happy just as easily as you choose to be sad. The choice, no matter what the situation, is always up to you.

• You can choose to get up and get going just as easily as you choose to sit and do nothing.  The choice to actively move your life forward is always yours to make.

• Instead of worrying about who is to blame, focus on choosing your most positive response. Instead of letting the past get you down, make the choices that will lift you up.

• This is your own life, so live it with your own best intentions.  Each moment gives you a new choice, so make all those choices count.

• Sure, there are many things that are out of your control.  Yet there are still plenty of choices that enable you to live your life the way you wish to live it.

• Choose, again and again, to live in alignment with your purpose and your highest values.  Positive choices are what create a positive, fulfilling life.

Six points that he offers to guide you towards a positive choice, throw in the Lord's Word and you now have six points to apply to how you allow God's word to influence your positive choices so that every day is one that you can choose to live in alignment with your Lord and Savior!  Just a little advice to go!

10 Guidelines for Loving Others and Loving Oneself

Recently a resident at Haven for Hope came to speak to me about a problem he was having and during that time shared a piece of paper with 10 guidelines he used to help him love others and himself.  He was there seeking my help but instead blessed me with these guidelines to loving others that I now apply every day, I hope they will bless you as much as they have me:   

1. Listen w/o interrupting-We have all heard the saying, God gave you two ears and one mouth so you could listen twice as much as you speak.  Listen to others with intentionality and genuine care for what they have to say.  

2. Speak without accusing-Jumping to conclusions and playing the blame game is something we all fall into and have to learn to stop.  Rather than accusing, why don't we try to first find out what really happened, understand it, and focus on how we can help prevent it from happening again.

3. Give without sparing-Yes, give without always worrying about how much you owe or the bills you have to pay.  No I am not telling anyone to give it all away, just that when the Lord presents an opportunity for you to bless others, don't think about it just simply do it.  I think the Lord has a grasp on what your financial obligations are and will make sure that you have what you need.  You know like the birds and the lilies of the field. 

4. Pray without ceasing-Prayer doesn't have to start and stop, it can be a constant that happens throughout your day as situations and needs arise.  

5. Answer without arguing-Oh how we love to argue, debate and find someone to talk about rather than simply learning to respond to challenges with a great deal of love.  Yes even when someone challenges you and you know that they read into it based on what they are feeling and assuming, humility requires that we respond without creating an argument.  

6. Share without pretending-Share it freely without regret or pretending to mean it when you really don't.  What God has given us should be a blessing to others without any regret. 

7. Enjoy without complaint-We love to complain rather than take the time to rejoice about the many blessings God gives us.  For some it is not the blessing but how the blessing was delivered that becomes the problem.  They are so stuck on themselves they can't see the blessing for what it is and have to always find something to complain or second guess others about.  

8. Trust without wavering-We must trust even when things get tough and don't seem to be going our way. Anyone can trust when all goes well, the true challenge is how much we trust when things don't seem to be going our way.  

9. Forgive without punishing-Wow this one is a tough one, we have been conditioned that there has to be a consequence, a punishment when people to us wrong.  But the fact is that nothing prevents us from forgiving someone and leaving it right there.  I guess the opposite is true, when someone does wrong and action is required that results in punishment, then we are not forgiving the person but holding them accountable.  Know the difference!

10. Promise without forgetting-Never forget to honor your promises or your word.  If you make the commitment then make every effort to ensure you follow through.

Well, these will definitely help us love others the way Christ would expect us to love them and at the same time teach us how to better love ourselves.  Just a little advice to go! 

Who Do You Say I Am?

In Mark chapter 8, we read about the conversation that Christ had with the disciples where he asked them who the people said he was and the answer varied demonstrating the confusion that existed.  Some thought he was John the Baptist or Elijah, others a prophet but then Jesus asked the disciples the tough question, who do you say I am?  Peter, always quick to respond, immediately proclaimed you are the Christ the son of the living God.

How awesome that Peter knew who Jesus truly was, but would you be able to respond the same way?  Do you accept that He is your savior, the one who died for your sins so that through his blood sacrifice all your sins would be forgiven?  How would you answer the question, is your life a genuine reflection of the Godly principles Christ lived?  Perhaps it is time that we each asked ourselves who we say he is?  Do our actions say he is our Lord, do our words reflect his love and purity, do others sense a difference about us because of that unique spirit that dwells within us, and can we shout that Jesus is Lord with the confidence that God would not look away from us?

I say he is my Lord and Savior; all that I am is focused on honoring him both in my private and public behavior.  Everyday is an opportunity to be more like Jesus, to love and care for others with the same patience, understanding, and kindness he provided.  I say he is my Lord, my beginning and end, my lily of the valley, my bright and morning star, and the one who is and will forever be.  Praise God!  Just a little advice to go!

The Power of 2

Matthew 18:19-21

New International Version (NIV)

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

The power of 2 is a biblical principle stressing the importance of each believer joining with another as they come together seeking God's interaction with their lives.  We can have a personal relationship with Christ and are called to go into our private chambers in prayer, but we have a much greater intensity in that relationship when we join with another in agreement for that which we are asking of our Heavenly Father.  Isn't it amazing that he assures us he will be right there with us agreeing with us and making sure things fall into place.

  

When believers come together in prayer, united by agreement the Holy Spirit's power is more impactful.  We are  united in one accord with our Heavenly Father who enables us to pray with a power ensuring a response will be received.  Find the prayer partner or partners that will ensure God is involved in the conversation.  Just a little advice to go! 

The Silent Partner

Recently I was speaking with a friend when she began to share her conversations with the Lord.  She is a faithful woman and prays for God's direction often finding herself debating the direction he provides. Fear and doubt along with financial limitations make her question God's direction only to find that God is more than willing to repeat himself.

She shared a story about last Christmas when God directed her to buy Christmas cards, inscribe the plan of salvation, enclose a small amount of cash and deliver them to total strangers.  When God moved her to buy the cards, she refused reminding the Lord that she didn't have a lot of money right now.  She left the store and went to another store only to find the same exact box of cards waiting for her and the same message from the Lord.  She eventually yielded to the Lord's message purchasing several boxes of the cards, inscribing the message of salvation, and placing six dollars in each envelope.  She then prayed and following God's directions, delivered the cards to the employees at her local McDonalds, Burger King, Walmart and Supermarket.  Yes, she delivered them to the employees, those folks working crazy hours in demanding conditions for very little money.

One by one she visited each location, spoke to the manager, and then handed out the cards.   The managers were left in awe with some even crying as they had never had anyone do this before.  Most employees received the cards with many asking how she knew they were hurting and praying for God to speak to their lives.  Several committed their lives to Christ on the spot and others were later her see her and tell her of their eventual acceptance of Christ.  One person was able to touch so many simply by listening to God's direction.

God uses anyone who listens to his voice and is willing to take a step of faith.  My friend is but one of many silent partners that God uses to touch lives.  She lives on a limited income, cares for her mother, and at times struggles to find ways to respond to God's direction.  But she responds nevertheless and God continues to bless and provide for her.  She is silent in her actions, never boasting or taking credit; she simply does as God directs.  Imagine the impact we could have on this world if we all became his silent partners.  Amazing!  Just a little advice to go!

Listening With Your Eyes!

Recently I have focused on learning to do better in my relationships with others.  One key component of improving relationships is communicating in a more effective and compassionate manner.  Achieving this goal involves changing the way I listen to people from passive listening to active listening which means listening with more than my ears, with my eyes.  Yes, this means I stop everything I am doing so I can look at what a person is saying to me.  Looking at people with intentionality and observing how they are behaving when speaking to me, helps me better understand their message.  I can determine if there are their signs of stress, if their hands are saying something to me, if they are worried, and so forth.  Listening is more than just hearing the words the person is speaking; their emotions and physical behavior are just as critical.  

Today we focus on communicating via e-mails and texting without consideration for the importance of a face to face conversation with the other person.  Listening with our eyes forces us to make time for face to face meetings, to give the person a sense of value by demonstrating your willingness to set everything else aside and listen with your eyes.  

I thank God that He listens with his eyes, He watches over me caring for all my needs seeing the pains and struggles and responding appropriately.  He listen’s with His eyes and makes time for me even when I don’t realize He is there.  Praise the Lord!

Whether at work, school, or home take the time to listen with your eyes!  Just a little advice to go!