Do You Want To Be Lied To?

Do you want to be lied to, or would you prefer to know the truth? That question might illicit an immediate and obvious response, tell me the truth. But I recently listened to a speaker who reminded me that often people really don’t want to hear the truth. Think about the funerals you’ve been to. Rarely do we hear a eulogy where someone states that the person who has passed was a self seeking lying user who took advantage of his family, friends and anyone else he came in contact with. While that might be the truth about the invidual, the person or persons giving the eulogy will find a way to say something positive in spite of the truth.

While I can’t control what people say, I can control the truth by doing my best to be the kind of person whose values speak clearly about the person I am. I am reminded of an exercise in the book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People authored by Steven Covey; a book I recommend you read. Now if you have read the book and are like me, you probably skipped right over the exercise he asks you to do on page 96 (first edition) because you wanted to finish reading the book. But I have since gone back and done the exercise which asks you to imagine you are at a funeral and the person in the casket is you. There are four people who are giving the eulogy, a family member, a friend, a co-worker, and someone from your church. The exercise asks you to write down what would you like them to say about you, that is true. What you write will help you understand the values that truly define who you are as a person. Are they the things that you should value, the things that come naturally or the things that come from an intentional decision to be a certain type of individual? Clearly the exercise requires you be honest with yourself.

This exercise helped me to define five key values that identify who I am and who I fight to be each and every day, despite the natural desires that may contradict them. They are my values and each person has to fine their own, but typically they will center around some of the same key areas. Some may have more than five and others less, but what matters is that you figure out those values and ensure that they guide you through you daily living experiences; experiences that may challenge you to behave in a way that contradicts who you have decided to be.

The following biblical scriptures might be a good starting point to help define your values and who you really want to be:
Galations Chapter 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Do you really want to be lied to, or do you prefer the truth? Make the truth a pleasant one by being the person you truly want to be, a person whose values reflect a love and care for humanity that is beyond question. Just a little advice to go! 

What Do You Really Want?

Listening to a series of teachings on the subject of what do you really want which has inspired me to write about the subject.  There is a biblical teaching on the subject of what we really want in James 4:1-3.  James, the brother of Jesus, teaches that we often don't have what we want because we do not ask God.  He goes on to say that when we ask God, we don't receive because we ask with the wrong motives, we are focused on our own pleasures, pleasures that do not really address our true needs.

When I consider what James is saying, I think about how we identify what we really want and the reality is that often, we do not go into a long process of thinking about it.  Think about the answer to the question, what do you really want?  What we often neglect to say is, I want what I want.  Yes, the reality is what want what we want at that very moment.  We get upset at work because the decision did not go our way, we get upset at home because our partner did not want what we want, we get upset with our kids because they do not want to do what we want them to do, and so forth.  But have we ever considered the other side of the coin, how often when we get what we want and end up regretting it.  Think about how many times you, like I, have had this thought "If I could go back and do it again knowing what I know now, things would be so different".  Yes, if we could go back knowing that what we wanted then is not what we really should have wanted, things would be different.  Thus the need to carefully assess what it is really truly want, what drives the desires of our heart, and how we determine what we really should want.  Sounds a bit confusing perhaps, but think about it and consider what it is you really want.  As you think about it, keep the following questions in mind:

• Is what I want today, going to get in the way of what I want for the future?
• Is getting my way going to get in the way of what I want for the future? 
• Is getting what I want followed by the reality that I also want it now?  
• Is what I want now helping me with what I will want later? 
• Is there a time where I didn't get what I wanted then, that I can be grateful for? 
• Is what I want now only going to satisfy a temporary pleasure?
• is what I want now based on a thoughtful consideration of how it impacts where I want to be later? 

More to follow on the next piece, just a little advice to go!