Matters of the Heart!

Each one of us knows the importance of monitoring your heart health to ensure a healthy and productive life.  Good leaders understand the importance of monitoring the heart’s health when it comes to their thoughts and desires. There is a bible scripture that I love, it states, “Out of the abundance of the heart, speaketh the mouth” (Luke 6:45). Ensuring your heart is in a good place is critical as it will determine what you think, say, and do.  It is precisely what dictates the type of leader you are and will continue to be.  

Good leaders understand the importance of addressing those past lived experiences that often result in anger and bitterness.  Failing to address these hurts leads to behaviors that are predicated on the toxic voices from within, which often result in inappropriate behavior.  Too many leaders, despite having achieved great success, go on to fail because of their unwillingness to address their past hurts and the resulting vulnerabilities.  They make the mistake of believing that if they simply say the right things, that will make up for all the wrong things that continue to haunt them.  In the end, the “fake it until you make it” approach does not last and they end result is “heart failure”, the inability to lead.  

Becoming a good leader means confronting the matters of the heart, dealing with past mistakes, seeking forgiveness when appropriate, and ensuring the toxic voices are silenced.  Good leaders are not defined by their past, but their past has refined them and helped them to become better people and in the end, better leaders.  They address the matters of the heart and learn to be real, to be the type of leader that focuses on honor, excellence, accountability, respect and teamwork. Just a little advice to go!

Servant Leaders Are Mindful of Others!

It is natural for us to be mindful of the daily situations we encounter and to do our best to respond to them as leaders. Sometimes we respond based on how we believe the situation impacts us as individuals without considering how the situation impacts those around us, particularly those we lead. We react based on the eggshells with which we have surrounded ourselves ensuring none are broken or damaged. It can make us defensive and focused on self, rather than the interdependence we as leaders should be mindful of.

Great leaders understand the value of each team member and the importance of ensuring they are cared for, mindful of the eggshells each has surrounded themselves with. As leaders we are responsible for helping team members pick up their eggshells, in other words address those areas of sensitivity that often make them defensive and insecure. Of course, we need to start by first addressing our own eggshells so that we are able to step forward with the confidence and courage it takes to lead, teaching others how to navigate past their own eggshells.

I challenge each of you to picture yourself surrounded by eggshells and trying to walk through them without crushing them. What are those eggshells in your life, those areas of insecurity that often lead you to be insensitive, self focused, out of sync with your emotions, and unable to see beyond yourself. It is a challenge which I pray about each morning as I rise and celebrate the gift of a new day. How can I be more committed to the needs of others, a servant leader rather than a self serving leader? Each day I struggle to pickup the eggshells and focus on what those I lead need more so than what I need, to serve with grace and humility. Please hold me accountable to these words, help me be true to the commitment I’ve made to serve!  Just a little advice to go!

Be Resilient!

I can tell when I am really tired and letting stress get to me.  I start to sound like the nagging kid that moans and groans about every little thing.  Yes, I hate to admit it but despite all my efforts to not be that guy, I can easily become that guy.  Fortunately, I have team members who step in and give me the look, or say the word that let’s me know I’m being a bit melodramatic.  I do not always pick up on the cues right away, but the light bulb does eventually turn on and I figure out that I have put in too man y hours and need to get some rest.

If you are like me, you come home, lay down on the couch and watch the television in an effort to forget about everything, but that is just a different type of brain stimulator that often leaves you anything but relaxed.  I have come to realize the best way to relax is to find a quiet place, sit or lay down, and clear my brain of all the stressful thoughts.  It is a lot easier said than done, but if you stay focused it will help.  That may not work for you, perhaps for you a short walk or run helps.  The point is to avoid staying on empty, to recognize your resilience depends on your self care.  Find what works for you, the thing that relaxes and energizes you and make time for it.  Resilience is about having the energy, the wherewithal to bounce back to withstand the challenges and keep moving forward.  Being resilient means taking the steps to rest and reenergize yourself.  Be resilient!  Just a little advice to go! 

Half Glass Full Mentality

Most of us have heard about the half glass perspective, whether you view the glass as half empty or half full.  For those who see it as half full, the thought is they have a positive view of things as opposed to those who see it as half empty failing to recognize they have more than those with an empty glass.  It is a pretty simple way of reminding us to view our circumstances from a positive perspective, regardless of how challenging they may be.  It means adapting a half glass full mentality towards your daily journey through life.  It doesn’t mean you stop being human and don’t feel negative emotions, but rather that more often than not you will look at circumstances from as positive a perspective as you can.  You will focus on all you have achieved and how much more you will achieve as you work towards moving through and past life’s challenges.  

Take the time to think about how you are living your life, is it always focused on the negative?  Are you fixated on what could have been and thinking about if you had only done this instead of that?  Those are the half empty glass mentalities you want to avoid, particularly because outside of learning from past mistakes there is no reason to dwell on them.  Fact is there is nothing you can do about yesterday and so much more you can do about today.  Today is the most important day of your life as you can impact today to make sure tomorrow is a much better today when tomorrow arrives.  Focusing on a half glass full mentality enables you to focus on the positive of today and in the end will help you to fill your glass until it overflows.  Just a little advice to go! 

Choose Your Words Wisely!

Me and my big mouth, if you have ever said or thought these words we have something in common.  Yes, sometimes we speak before we think hence my adoption of Pastor Andy Stanley’s advice: be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Leaders should recognize that we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak, sometimes easier said than done.  Just as important, Leaders need to recognize that when they speak, they need to be very careful to choose their words wisely and control the emotions with which they are spoken.

As leaders, we cannot react without self awareness and self regulation.  We must think long and hard about the situation and how we can lift someone up rather than tear them down.  I often have said, no one is harder on me, than me; I truly don’t need anyone else to tell me I messed up.  This is the time when I need a true leader, someone who recognizes the current situation does not define who I am or dismiss my past successes.  A good leader seeks first to understand and then finds the right words to address the situation, often addressing the need for improvement while doing so by lifting the individual up.

Good leaders choose their words wisely in all situations, they are always thinking about how they can be a blessing to others.  They remember their words reflect their hearts, and focus on speaking truth with grace and concern for others avoiding bitter, angry, and malicious words.  Good leaders work every day to choose their words wisely!  Just a little advise to go! 

Avoid Making the Same Mistakes!

Why do we sometimes find ourselves repeating the same mistakes over and over again?  We have all heard folks talk about how experience makes you wiser, but still we find ourselves committing the same mistakes.  The fact is that experience only helps us if we take the time to analyze what went wrong and determine how we could have avoided the mistake the first time.  That process has to be approached with a sincere willingness to recognize when we are the problem, when it was our poor judgment that led to the mistake. It is always easier to look for someone else to blame rather than take responsibility for our own deficits. Recognizing this truth is the first step towards an honest evaluation of our past mistakes.

Why start with you, with a self examination? Simple, when looking at repeated mistakes look for the common denominator. You are clearly going to be the first common denominator that needs scrutiny. What did you do or fail to do that may have led to the problem? Addressing those findings is the first critical step you must take before you can address any other contributing factors. If you keep making the same mistakes at work, dating the same losers, having the same arguments with your spouse, and so forth, then you need to start by addressing your actions. If you need help, ask someone you trust who will give you good advice. Please remember the humility piece, don’t ask for truth if you can’t handle the truth.


Once you’ve identified the challenges, then do something about them. Be intentional on making change happen in your life so you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Focus on your emotional maturity, being self-aware will help you keep your challenges in check. Use your strengths to help you compensate for your challenges, understanding you can avoid repeating the same mistakes by planning to do better and being intentional about it. Just a little advice to go!

Something Good Is Going to Happen!

The essence of hope is our faith and belief that things will work out, that there is a better option or way ahead for us.  When we give up and stop hoping, we find ourselves desperate, anxious, angry, and vindictive.  This is the reality that many experience given their daily challenges and while their actions may seem senseless to us, we need to think about their circumstances and their hopelessness.  Hopeless people react to situations in unexpected ways in a desperate search for a way out of their situation and often their loved ones, friends, and co-workers see the change in them or experience the brunt of their anger.  It is easy to react by becoming defensive rather than trying to understand and react with compassion and understanding.  Don’t do it! 

In these difficult times when we are experiencing the hopelessness of a family member, friend, and/or co-worker, we need to hold strong to our sense of hope, the belief that something good is going to happen.  We must remember to hold on to our faith and respond with compassion and grace, to be the light in the darkness, the one person who will react to their anger with a caring spirit and words of encouragement.  We need to remind them that if they stay strong and lean on those who care for them, something good is going to happen!  Be the something good in that person’s life. Just a little advice to go!

A Message to Garcia

As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful messenger to them that send him: for he refresheth the soul of his masters. – Proverbs XXV: 13

In 1889, Elbert Hubbard published an article titled, "A Message to Garcia". It detailed the story of Lt. Andrew Summers Rowan of the United States Army. He was given an assignment, deliver this message to General Calixto Garcia the leader of the Cuban rebels fighting to be liberated from Spanish rule during the Spanish American war. The accuracy of Hubbards account of Lt. Rowan's journey has since been challenged, but nevertheless offers a perspective on the character of the type of person we all want on our team.

The story speaks of a man whose commitment to the organization is without challenge, a man who can be trusted, is focused, has the backbone needed to accomplish the task, and is loyal. Hubbard questions why it is so difficult to find people who possess these characteristics and how often we fail to acknowledge and celebrate those on our team who possess them.

He cries out for people who will carry out the task at hand, who are committed to the work handed to them rather than a way to get out of doing the work. These are the women and men who instead of asking why me, why do I have to do it, respond with why not me. These are women and men who are committed to lending a helping hand, being part of a team and stepping into whatever challenge is presented to them. People who understand that all their work provides for an opportunity to lift the organization up and that it in the end, the success of the organization benefits all who are committed to its purpose.

Hubbard challenges workers to step up and be more than status quo, to be exceptional in all they do and to do so because it is the right thing to do, regardless of the wages to be earned or the hours to be worked. The characteristics he identifies as reflective of a person committed to delivering the message to Garcia, are the same characteristics we seek in each of our employees. If you are as blessed as I am, you can list the names of those on your team who can deliver the message to Garcia. Never forget to acknowledge and celebrate them! Just a little advice to go!

Your Output Should Not Exceed Your Intake

I often describe myself as a workaholic, which is a critique of my inability to keep things under control; in perspective. The end result is that I burn the candle at both ends and eventually find my effectiveness faltering. It forces me to sit down and consider what fills me and what depletes me; how do I re-adjust my actions to ensure I am not allowing myself to become depleted.

Family, friends, reading, writing, supper club, a good movie, a good 5K, and church all serve to fill me. Work, school, home projects, and other daily events deplete me. When I take on more at work than I should, which is often, I work more hours and find myself becoming depleted. The end result is more output than intake and that can be dangerous. I become tired, anxious, emotional and feel like things are falling apart. It is a mistake that can lead to serious health problems.

Avoiding becoming depleted means being self-aware, taking note when you start to feel overwhelmed and doing something about it. Increasing the intake of those things that fill you, energize you and make you smile is critical. Greater intake will balance you and make the output more positive, leading to greater success. Take the time to think about what you need to do to increase your intake so as to ensure your output never exceeds it. Just a little advise to go!

The Value of Transparency

Transparency, one’s ability to be transparent according to Webster’s dictionary. I know, never define a word by using the word, as explained by Mrs. Cherry in my 2nd grade class. Transparency means people can see through you to know who you really are, your story. But that can only happen if you are willing to be vulnerable. It requires a great deal of courage, trust, and self confidence. Sharing your story is not easy, particularly if it comes with admitting your hurts and weaknesses. I am not encouraging folks to be transparent with everyone, but to do so with their respective inner circle of family, friends, and confidants.

Speaking about how past hurts, mistakes, and successes have helped to shape you into who you are today provides the opportunity for personal growth and gives others the opportunity to learn from your experiences. That process is never-ending and gets better as you become more confident in your ability to share with others, more transparent. It enables you to release the hurt, discuss the impact of your past mistakes, and share the successes resulting from all your experiences. It gives others a chances to demonstrate that they like you have grown through their hurts, mistakes, and successes. Sharing is caring, caring for yourself and for those within your inner circle. Transparency has helped me be true to myself, family and closest friends. Just a little advice to go!

The Struggle of Choice

Thinking back to my youth, I can recall the struggles of choice. Doing the right thing was not always easy to discern given the peer pressure of those I grew up with. In time, I would choose to believe and trust in God’s guidance for my life. Each of us has the ability to choose, despite what we might think. We can choose to go to work today or choose to stay home. Yes, there are consequences for the choices we make, but the choice is ours. Societal norms place restrictions on our choices and rightfully so, we live as part of a greater community and our choices often impact those who are part of that community. But in the end we still have the freedom to choose.

Some choices may be difficult and thus the struggle of choice. It is in the midst of these struggles that I lean not on my own understanding but on the guidance of God’s word. In my faith, I find guiding principles which help me choose the right path. Faith does not eliminate the struggle of choice but rather helps to make the struggle less intense and with time, easy to move past.  I choose to live a Godly life, I choose to do good, I often choose to put the needs of others ahead of my own, and I choose to remain steadfast in my faith in God. What choices are you making today? How do you navigate through the struggle of choice? What does the struggle say about who you are? Are you making the right choices? Just a little advise to go!