True Love!

What is true love? Is it the love you have for the person you are most intimate with, for the little ones you have birthed into this world, the parents who in so many ways contributed to who you have become, or the career path which you have traveled overcoming obstacles to achieve success? We can all ponder our many life experiences to come up with our own definition of true love. What is your definition?

In the first book of Corinthians chapter 13 we are provided with a biblical definition exemplifying true love. It describes love as patient, kind, unenvious, unboastful, unwilling to dishonor others, not self seeking, not easily angered, willing to forget wrongdoings, rejoiceful in truth, protectful, trusting, hopeful, perservering, and most importantly, never failing. Wow, how much have I loved and yet not truly loved...

In my Christian walk, I depend on faith; the ability to rest assured in what I believe even when it seems unbelievable. I also depend on hope, which guides my day to day attitude and directs my attention to that which aligns with God's word. Finally, I depend on love which SHOULD engulf every action I take. I say should because people often challenge my ability to demonstrate true love.

Whether at work or home, my failure to practice patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, and selflessness diminishes my ability to practice true love. If I am not careful, I could find myself becoming bitter, angry, self centered, unfulfilled, condeming, blameful, unforgiving, and unloving. This is not who I want to be and definitely not who God wants me to be. So I am determined to faithfully believe in the unbelievable, approach each day full of hope, and love unconditionally in an effort to practice true love. Because in the end, God's word reminds me that three things will last forever: faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is Love, because love never fails! That is my definition of true love, what is yours? Just a little advice to go!

Completely Yours!

Completely yours, do we truly understand what that means?  It means making a complete commitment to honor, serve and unconditionally love your family, your spouse, your friends and those you serve each day.  It means sacrificing yourself for those you have committed to even if they fail to keep their commitment to you.

Being completely yours to so many requires balancing those relationships and ensuring that you do not become overly committed to one and under committed to another.  It takes practice, hard work, and a daily effort to honor those to whom you have made this commitment.

As a Christian, I know God has committed to be completely mine and that has been life changing.  My efforts in committing to be completely yours to others aligns with honoring his example of self-sacrifice. Today, I once again commit to be completely yours to God, family, friends, and those I serve each day! Will you make a completely yours commitment?  Just a little advice to go!

Stop Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You!

At one time or another we have all engaged in a discussion about a person's intelligence quotient; their I.Q.  The score is based on a standardized test that assesses an individual's intelligence as compared to their peers.  A score of 100 means you are of average intelligence and those with scores that are higher have above average intelligence.  IQ is used to determine academic abilities and identify individuals who are extremely smart or who have mental challenges as demonstrated by significantly lower I.Q. scores than their peers.

While I.Q. is important, research indicates that a person's emotional intelligence, EI, is even more important.  A person's inability to control their emotions will compromise their intellect and often lead to poor decision making.  EI is also a better indicator of success in the workplace and helpful in identifying good team players, people who work better independently, and individuals who can perform well as leaders.  

Understanding EI is critical to our Christian walk and how we live our lives each and every day.  There are five elements of EI which I practice on a daily basis and often share with those seeking to improve their lives.  Here they are:

1. Self-awareness-We must be aware of our emotional state and how it is impacted by those around us.  Knowing how we feel enables us to control how those feelings impact our treatment of others.  For leaders it means knowing your strengths and weaknesses so you are in the best position to help lead your team.  

2. Self-regulation-Regulating our emotions means we are in control, able to treat others fairly, to temper our comments, and to ensure we are making good decisions.  It means we are clear on our personal values and committed to living by them even if it costs us.  When all else fail, we can remember God's word assures us we are never alone in our battles.  He stands with us!

3. Motivation-It is critical we stay motivated even in the difficult times.  Our faith motivates us to move forward inspite of the challenges we face.  We set goals, identify objectives, set timelines, and move forward.  Motive checking is critical; we should always be certain that we are being movitvated towards a course of action for the right reasons, with humility and the best interest of the team in mind.  Our motives should always align with the values and principle by which we live.  

4. Empathy-We always need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes if we are truly seeking to understand them.  Perhaps their emotions have gotten the best of them, has that never happened to you?  How then should you respond?  Many will offer the golden rule here, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  I prefer the platinum rule, do unto others better than you would have them do unto you; go above and beyond.  Mean it!

5. Social skills-This one seems simple, but we often fail at it.  Practice great communication which means speaking to people with sincere concern for what they have to say, even if you don't like the message.  Anyone can be positive when the news is good, but it takes a true leader to stay positive when the news is bad.  Rather than become defensive, try being defenseless.  Listen to what others have to say with a commitment to resolving conflicts in a fair and just manner.  Make it a point to celebrate those around you, just as God celebrates his children each and every day.  

Emotional Intelligence is something we can improve by being aware of it, practicing it, and learning as much as we can about it.  The greater your emotional intelligence the less chance you will have of letting your emotions get the best of you.  Just a little advice to go!

(For a more in depth understanding of this topic, read Dr. Travis Bradberry's book-Emotional Intelligence 2.0 or Dr. Daniel Goleman's book-Emotional Intelligence)

The Global Leadership Summit: The Lenses of Leadership

(Resending this one, I cleaned up the errors for those who want to reuse it.  Thanks!)

This past week, I attended the Global Leadership Summit (GLS) which is comprised of two days of leadership talks which are empowering to say the least. For the first time ever, the GLS was held at the Haven for Hope Campus so that 200 clients who are working to overcome homelessness and a 100 staff could be a part of this great event. It is a Christian leadership summit and clearly impacted many of the more than 300 participants.

One of the sessions was presented by Pastor Bill Hybels the founder of the GLS and pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. He spoke about the four lenses of leadership which I believe are critical to being a good leader.  Here is a synopsis of his Four Lenses of Leadership: 

1. Passion Lens-A good leader must understand the importance of passion and the impact it has on those we lead. It can energize and sustain those on our team when it comes to getting them on board with the vision of the organization. A leader must sustain his or her passion if they are to be effective. Sustaining passion requires overcoming the obstacles that diminish passion, utilizing those obstacles as motivators or ignitors to re-energize one's passion. "A passionate leader + energized followers = an unstoppable force" (Bill Hybels).

2. People Lens-We are all susceptible to having our people lenses clouded by the experiences of the past. Bad people experiences can cloud our judgment thus we must be careful to wipe our lens clean to avoid the improper view of the people that work with us. "Leaders must love what God treasures--People" (Bill Hybels).

3. Performance Lens-Maintaining top performance is a critical responsibility of each leader and requires a sincere commitment to excellence. At Willow Creek Community Church, the focus is placed on three critical areas: Thriving, Healthy, and Performance. You want your people to thrive and grow, to know that they are doing well and to know you see it, and you want to help those who need to improve, do better. Help them know they are thriving and healthy and if underperforming, that they have your support with improving their performance.

4. Legacy Lens-What will people remember about your leadership once you have moved on? When you look back, what do you see and how does it make you feel? As Christian leaders, we want to make sure that people remember we led with love and compassion; that we honored God. This doesn't just apply to our leadership at work, but in our home, marriages, and families. We must ensure that work doesn't overly consume our lives causing us to be poor leaders in the other critical areas. What will your legacy be? Is it too late to change your legacy?

I'll close with Pastor Hybel's example of a biblical character who in an instance changed his entire legacy. Of the two thieves who were crucified with Christ ridiculed him while the other proclaimed that Christ unlike he, was innocent. That second thief even went so far as to own up to his mistakes and to ask for Christ's forgiveness. In that moment Christ forgave him and assured him that soon he would join Christ in heaven before God almighty. The thief's faith in Christ instantly changed his legacy, he is remembered as the repentant thief who in his last moments, believed! Wow, what a legacy transition.

These four lenses provide each of us the opportunity to become the types of leaders that impact people with the grace and love God has shown us. Just a little advice to go!

What Does Your Judgment Say About You?

Yes we all judge others for one reason or another, let's just put that right out there. Sometimes we do it with good intentions, like when we are interview ing someone for a job and try to judge whether they are a suitable candidate for the positoin. That is not the type of judgment that becomes a problem, it is when we pass judgment for the wrong reasons; like when the person doesn't let you drive into the next lane and you know you have to because you'll miss your exit. What an idiot! Oops there are I go, passing judgment on the moron in the other vehicle. Of course, that person has probably concluded that I'm a bigger moron because I waited until the last minute to switch lanes. Sometimes we judge others by their outer appearance drawing conclusions based on superficial information without truly knowing anything about who they are. Other times, we judge based on the rumors we hear about the person drawing conclusions without any facts. Often we judge based on stereotypes that diminish the humanity of the other person, whether we want to admit it or not.

It is critical that we as believers do our best NOT to judge others unfairly, but rather to practice the same compassion, care and forgiveness that Christ provides each of us. As believers we abide by his word which reminds us that we should not judge, if we don't want to be judged; not condemn, if we don't want to be condemned; and forgive, if we too want to be forgiven. How we judge others speaks to who we are and thus begs the question, what does your judgment say about you? Perhaps we should ask ourselves that question more often. Just a little advice to go!

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Many of us will recall the 1988 Bobby McFerrin hit song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" which encouraged us not to worry and simply be happy. Long before Bobby McFerrin's use of the phrase, God encouraged us not to worry in Matthew 6: 25-34. His word tells us not to worry about food, clothing, or anything else. He reminds us that in Christ, all these things are provided for and worrying about them is unnecessary. If he provides for the least, he will provide for us.

Worrying worsens the situation and jeopardizes our well being. There are approximately 350,000,000 people globally who suffer from some type of depression indicating that it is more common amongst people in general than we recognize. More than 11% of children in the United States will experience some type of depression before the age of 18 and about 30% of U.S. college students have had their education interrupted because of some episode of depression. For many, that depression stems from fear and worry, two things that God encourages us to resist. His word makes it clear that we need to stop worrying and being afraid; we need to learn to rejoice in the midst of the storm. He provides us Christian professionals and doctors who can help support us if our fear and stress become overwhelming, all resources we should willingly take advantage of.

God's word sets the expectation for us when it states in Philippians 4:4, "Rejoice in the Lord, always; and I again I say rejoice." It goes on to say in Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." His joy, peace, and understanding enables each of us to say don't worry, be happy! Just a little advice to go!

What is Praise?

Praise can be defined in many ways, but here are a few of my favorites:

Praise is a song to god, not just about God.  It thanks him for his divine nature and focuses our hearts on him.

Praise enables us to thank God for his gift of grace, his unmerited favor; it is a demonstration of our gratitude for the relationship we have with him.

Praise provides us with time to acknowledge him and in turn become better acquainted with him.

Praise is an act of submission in recognition that he is Lord and that it is through him we are forgiven and able to triumph over sin.

Praise is an opportunity to focus your thoughts on God and to remember that your motivation to praise him is not based on the good things or the bad things you are experiencing, but because you love him unconditionally,

Praise is an act of demonstrating that you are rooted in your faith and trust in God, so much so that you will stand firm in your praise regardless of the storms that may come.

Praise is your opportunity to overcome self pity and doubt, to proclaim your willingness to trust God even when you may feel forgotten or forsaken.

Praise is your willingness to surrender your control to God and never take it back, to never steer away from his direction and plan for your life.

Praise is you willingness to surrender your pain and grab hold of joy!


Praise is never ending in our walk towards victory in Christ!

Praise the Lord!  Just a little advice to go!