Giving Thanks 365 Days A Year

We celebrated the holiday of Thanksgiving yesterday with family and friends most of us praying for the blessings we have received.  We then sat down to a great meal which many of us were fortunate to have.  That meal reminded me of a commitment I made  to be less self serving and more of a servant to others.  That commitment is captured eloquently by the following quote from Nelson Mandela:

"We pledge ourselves to liberate all our people from the continuing bondage of poverty, deprivation, suffering, gender and other discrimination."

Thanksgiving is a not simply a day to give thanks, but to a day in which we should all remind ourselves of the hope we have and should continue to have at a time where for many, things may seem hopeless.  As a Christian I believe that faith without works is dead, in other words our actions speak to how committed we are to our faith.  It is what each of us does each and every day to address the poverty within our communities, the suffering many are enduring from the youngest to the oldest, and the discrimination many are facing because of the color of their skin, their particular gender, and even the uniform they wear that helps eliminate hopelessness.  Living this way each and every day is truly an act of Thanksgiving we should all practice.

Imagine the impact we would have on the world if we committed ourselves to doing more for others than ourselves, to loving unconditionally thus approaching others in a spirit of love instead of condemnation.  The Christ in which I believe did not come to condemn the world but to open a door called grace, unmerited favor, through which anyone could enter into the hope of salvation, new beginnings, and an unquenchable desire to love and care for others.

Our faith and love for others can help move them from hopelessness to hopefulness.  In Colossians Chapter 1, verses 3 to 5, we are reminded that faith and love spring up from hope.  It is in the hopefulness each of us have for a tomorrow that is brighter and better for all, that we can then practice a faith and love that touches the lives of those around us helping them to have hope.  Let’s celebrate Thanksgiving every day as a reminder of all we have to be thankful for and how we can inspire hope in others.  Just a little advice to go.

Blending In Versus Standing Out!

As a child my parents always encouraged me to do my best, to make sure I stood out. Throughout my educational and work experiences I've always strived to stand out and be the best I can be. I have received a lot of accolades throughout my professional career having achieved a number of firsts, particularly during my career with the Rochester Police Department. But standing out produced a temporary moment of satisfaction that quickly faded away.

Today, I work at Haven for Hope serving those experiencing homelessness and have come to realize that the greatest challenge is not to stand out, but to blend in. Working to make our 22 acre campus the best it can be, means blending in with each of the staff that help make it a place of excellence. If that means picking up a mop and cleaning a mess, cleaning the bathrooms, picking up garbage, taking time to speak with a client when you don't have the time, addressing the need of a co-worker who simply needs to be heard or any of the many other critical functions necessary to make Haven for Hope a place of excellence, then that is what I need to do.

No longer do I feel the need to stand out, but instead want to blend in with those who work to make Haven a place of excellence. If you are wondering what changed, it was the realization that I was not following the leadership model of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He was a great leader not because he worked to stand out, but rather because he blended in. He blended in with the crowd wearing the same clothes, eating the same foods, sitting at the same table, and living the same simple lifestyle. He loved each individual in spite of who they were or what their sins were. He chose a team that reflected many of the same challenges of those he seeked to serve. His team reflected the shortcomings of those in the crowd and teaching them made it easy for them to teach others. He saw no need to stand out, not even during his crucifixion where he simply asked God to forgive those who in their ignorance crucified him.

I recently read a Pray Fit devotional that spoke about the leader that blends in with the team. It referenced the sport of baseball as one of the few sports where the leader blends in with his team. The coach wears the same exact uniform as the players, he truly blends in with the team. He sits or stands in the same dug out and leads his team by blending in with them and not trying to stand out from them or to stand up above them. While there is nothing wrong with being outstanding in whatever you do, I would suggest it is better to blend in with those you lead and serve then to stand out. Just a little advice to go!

Why I Celebrate My Weakness!

The secular world defines weakness from several perspectives such as only weak people allow someone to insult them without responding, allow someone to shove them without shoving back, cry instead of "taking it like a man",  fail to speak up when they disagree with the boss, etc.  Given this definition you might wonder why anyone would celebrate weakness, the answer is really quite simple, it is all in how you define the word.   

My redefinition of the word weakness means insults don't trigger my ego, instead they draw my concern for the person doing the insulting.  People who get physical in a confrontation are people I need to back away from and do my best to de-escalate rather than engage.  Crying is a method of releasing emotion whether joyful or sorrowful; real men cry and so do real women.  When it is time to speak up, I don't shy away but I also don't let my emotions rule over me.  I speak up when it is appropriate and I do so in a respectful and caring way.  What others see as weakness, I redefine as strength.  

My faith in Christ has taught me that if we let our emotions rule us, we are in the flesh and often that means out of control.  When we are in the spirit, we recognize what God teaches us in his word, specifically that it is in our weakness that we are made strong. Understanding the weaknesses of the flesh, enables us to turn them into strengths.  We can then delight in the midst of the insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties of life.  For when we are weak, then are we strong.  Just a little advice to go! 

(2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

True Love!

What is true love? Is it the love you have for the person you are most intimate with, for the little ones you have birthed into this world, the parents who in so many ways contributed to who you have become, or the career path which you have traveled overcoming obstacles to achieve success? We can all ponder our many life experiences to come up with our own definition of true love. What is your definition?

In the first book of Corinthians chapter 13 we are provided with a biblical definition exemplifying true love. It describes love as patient, kind, unenvious, unboastful, unwilling to dishonor others, not self seeking, not easily angered, willing to forget wrongdoings, rejoiceful in truth, protectful, trusting, hopeful, perservering, and most importantly, never failing. Wow, how much have I loved and yet not truly loved...

In my Christian walk, I depend on faith; the ability to rest assured in what I believe even when it seems unbelievable. I also depend on hope, which guides my day to day attitude and directs my attention to that which aligns with God's word. Finally, I depend on love which SHOULD engulf every action I take. I say should because people often challenge my ability to demonstrate true love.

Whether at work or home, my failure to practice patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, and selflessness diminishes my ability to practice true love. If I am not careful, I could find myself becoming bitter, angry, self centered, unfulfilled, condeming, blameful, unforgiving, and unloving. This is not who I want to be and definitely not who God wants me to be. So I am determined to faithfully believe in the unbelievable, approach each day full of hope, and love unconditionally in an effort to practice true love. Because in the end, God's word reminds me that three things will last forever: faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is Love, because love never fails! That is my definition of true love, what is yours? Just a little advice to go!

Completely Yours!

Completely yours, do we truly understand what that means?  It means making a complete commitment to honor, serve and unconditionally love your family, your spouse, your friends and those you serve each day.  It means sacrificing yourself for those you have committed to even if they fail to keep their commitment to you.

Being completely yours to so many requires balancing those relationships and ensuring that you do not become overly committed to one and under committed to another.  It takes practice, hard work, and a daily effort to honor those to whom you have made this commitment.

As a Christian, I know God has committed to be completely mine and that has been life changing.  My efforts in committing to be completely yours to others aligns with honoring his example of self-sacrifice. Today, I once again commit to be completely yours to God, family, friends, and those I serve each day! Will you make a completely yours commitment?  Just a little advice to go!

Stop Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You!

At one time or another we have all engaged in a discussion about a person's intelligence quotient; their I.Q.  The score is based on a standardized test that assesses an individual's intelligence as compared to their peers.  A score of 100 means you are of average intelligence and those with scores that are higher have above average intelligence.  IQ is used to determine academic abilities and identify individuals who are extremely smart or who have mental challenges as demonstrated by significantly lower I.Q. scores than their peers.

While I.Q. is important, research indicates that a person's emotional intelligence, EI, is even more important.  A person's inability to control their emotions will compromise their intellect and often lead to poor decision making.  EI is also a better indicator of success in the workplace and helpful in identifying good team players, people who work better independently, and individuals who can perform well as leaders.  

Understanding EI is critical to our Christian walk and how we live our lives each and every day.  There are five elements of EI which I practice on a daily basis and often share with those seeking to improve their lives.  Here they are:

1. Self-awareness-We must be aware of our emotional state and how it is impacted by those around us.  Knowing how we feel enables us to control how those feelings impact our treatment of others.  For leaders it means knowing your strengths and weaknesses so you are in the best position to help lead your team.  

2. Self-regulation-Regulating our emotions means we are in control, able to treat others fairly, to temper our comments, and to ensure we are making good decisions.  It means we are clear on our personal values and committed to living by them even if it costs us.  When all else fail, we can remember God's word assures us we are never alone in our battles.  He stands with us!

3. Motivation-It is critical we stay motivated even in the difficult times.  Our faith motivates us to move forward inspite of the challenges we face.  We set goals, identify objectives, set timelines, and move forward.  Motive checking is critical; we should always be certain that we are being movitvated towards a course of action for the right reasons, with humility and the best interest of the team in mind.  Our motives should always align with the values and principle by which we live.  

4. Empathy-We always need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes if we are truly seeking to understand them.  Perhaps their emotions have gotten the best of them, has that never happened to you?  How then should you respond?  Many will offer the golden rule here, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  I prefer the platinum rule, do unto others better than you would have them do unto you; go above and beyond.  Mean it!

5. Social skills-This one seems simple, but we often fail at it.  Practice great communication which means speaking to people with sincere concern for what they have to say, even if you don't like the message.  Anyone can be positive when the news is good, but it takes a true leader to stay positive when the news is bad.  Rather than become defensive, try being defenseless.  Listen to what others have to say with a commitment to resolving conflicts in a fair and just manner.  Make it a point to celebrate those around you, just as God celebrates his children each and every day.  

Emotional Intelligence is something we can improve by being aware of it, practicing it, and learning as much as we can about it.  The greater your emotional intelligence the less chance you will have of letting your emotions get the best of you.  Just a little advice to go!

(For a more in depth understanding of this topic, read Dr. Travis Bradberry's book-Emotional Intelligence 2.0 or Dr. Daniel Goleman's book-Emotional Intelligence)

The Global Leadership Summit: The Lenses of Leadership

(Resending this one, I cleaned up the errors for those who want to reuse it.  Thanks!)

This past week, I attended the Global Leadership Summit (GLS) which is comprised of two days of leadership talks which are empowering to say the least. For the first time ever, the GLS was held at the Haven for Hope Campus so that 200 clients who are working to overcome homelessness and a 100 staff could be a part of this great event. It is a Christian leadership summit and clearly impacted many of the more than 300 participants.

One of the sessions was presented by Pastor Bill Hybels the founder of the GLS and pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Barrington, Illinois. He spoke about the four lenses of leadership which I believe are critical to being a good leader.  Here is a synopsis of his Four Lenses of Leadership: 

1. Passion Lens-A good leader must understand the importance of passion and the impact it has on those we lead. It can energize and sustain those on our team when it comes to getting them on board with the vision of the organization. A leader must sustain his or her passion if they are to be effective. Sustaining passion requires overcoming the obstacles that diminish passion, utilizing those obstacles as motivators or ignitors to re-energize one's passion. "A passionate leader + energized followers = an unstoppable force" (Bill Hybels).

2. People Lens-We are all susceptible to having our people lenses clouded by the experiences of the past. Bad people experiences can cloud our judgment thus we must be careful to wipe our lens clean to avoid the improper view of the people that work with us. "Leaders must love what God treasures--People" (Bill Hybels).

3. Performance Lens-Maintaining top performance is a critical responsibility of each leader and requires a sincere commitment to excellence. At Willow Creek Community Church, the focus is placed on three critical areas: Thriving, Healthy, and Performance. You want your people to thrive and grow, to know that they are doing well and to know you see it, and you want to help those who need to improve, do better. Help them know they are thriving and healthy and if underperforming, that they have your support with improving their performance.

4. Legacy Lens-What will people remember about your leadership once you have moved on? When you look back, what do you see and how does it make you feel? As Christian leaders, we want to make sure that people remember we led with love and compassion; that we honored God. This doesn't just apply to our leadership at work, but in our home, marriages, and families. We must ensure that work doesn't overly consume our lives causing us to be poor leaders in the other critical areas. What will your legacy be? Is it too late to change your legacy?

I'll close with Pastor Hybel's example of a biblical character who in an instance changed his entire legacy. Of the two thieves who were crucified with Christ ridiculed him while the other proclaimed that Christ unlike he, was innocent. That second thief even went so far as to own up to his mistakes and to ask for Christ's forgiveness. In that moment Christ forgave him and assured him that soon he would join Christ in heaven before God almighty. The thief's faith in Christ instantly changed his legacy, he is remembered as the repentant thief who in his last moments, believed! Wow, what a legacy transition.

These four lenses provide each of us the opportunity to become the types of leaders that impact people with the grace and love God has shown us. Just a little advice to go!