The Chaos of Isolation

Poet John Donne, proclaimed that no man is an island.  His words speak to the truth of the chaos we often read about when terrible incidents take place.   The perpetrators are often referred to as weird, friendless, and isolated.  Today, isolation is fostered by the various technological tools allowing people to socialize while avoiding actual contact with others.  An article in the Washington Post recently quoted from an American Sociological Review stating “that the number of close friends for adults is declining, with the modal number of close friendship in 1985 being three, while in 2004 the modal number was zero. The percentage of adults who report having no close friends at all has increased from 36 percent in 1985 to 53.4 percent by 2004.”  The gains we achieve through contacts with others, contact more intimate than a superficial hello and goodbye, are fading increasing the likelihood of greater chaos and more divisions.

Overcoming isolation must be intentional, we must make a serious effort to develop friendships with others.  Perhaps the individuals who are most isolated simply need us to reach out to them, to befriend them.  Recently, I was asked to count my inner network of friends and while it seemed an easy task, in reality it was not.  I have many friends, but intimate friendships with people I see and speak to on a weekly basis outside of work, produces a very abbreviated list of friends.  It challenges me to be more intentional about developing an intimate network of friends, friends who I communicate with regularly and who will know they can come to me with any problem.  If each of us focuses on developing intimate friendships, perhaps we can reduce the isolation that often leads to a world of chaos.  Every little bit helps!  Just a little advice to go!