The Truth Shall Set You Free

As leaders it is critical we understand the importance of being truthful, first with ourselves and then with others. Those who know me have heard me say more than once, "the worse person to lie to is yourself". Time has taught me that our desire to protect ourselves from consequence, the fear of consequence, leads us to deny or distort the facts around the truth. Much like a child's fear of consequence, we often rationalize our mistakes to the point of converting the truth into our version of events, a truth that helps us avoid consequence. But the fact remains that no matter how much we convince ourselves that the facts are as we want them to be, those who witnessed our actions know the truth.

We can deceive ourselves, but it is difficult to deceive those who witnessed our behavior, they are perplexed at our inability to accept responsibility for our actions. We set an example for those around us that when things go wrong, it is acceptable to distort the facts and blame someone else. We even have the audacity to judge others when they fail to own their mistakes without regard for the fact that we have encouraged their behavior because we are unwilling to own ours.

There is a biblical scripture, John 8:32, which speaks about being set free, not simply from the fear of consequence but from living a life of falsehood. It means living a principled life, one where being truthful comes naturally because it is what we expect of ourselves and others. It means we own our mistakes because we understand that owning them makes us better and reflects to those around us that we expect them to own their's. It recognizes our humanity and the fact that we are flawed and will make mistakes. It ensures that because we own our mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes, that we are astute in our decision making, willing to include the insights of others before making a final decision. These are the freedoms we gain as leaders when we make the commitment to be truthful in spite of the consequences. Practicing truthfulness, particularly when things go wrong, frees others to do the same and eliminates any accuses for their choosing to be untruthful. The truth shall set you free. Just a little advice to go!

Focus on the Content, Not the Package!

This past week, I attended a Leadership Summit sponsored by my employer, Endeavors.  It was an excellent growth opportunity and I have to share some of the knowledge I gained.  One of the speakers was Dr. J. Bruce Stewart, Managing Partner of Small World Solutions Consulting.  He spoke on the topics of Diversity and Inclusion, two areas I happen to be passionate about.  Dr. Stewart reminded me that despite all we learn, we need to continue to work towards understanding the value of diversity and ensuring we are inclusive of that diversity in our teams and decision making.

Diversity is more than just about one characteristic, specifically more than just the one trait we quickly focus on when we hear the term diversity.  If you have a room occupied by Black women, do you have diversity?  Many would respond to that question with a resounding no, because they have focused on one aspect of those in the room, the color of their skin.  But the reality is that Black women can originate from many different countries and speak different languages, thus their race has little to do with their diversity.  Their different cultures, experiences, and education provide for a group of diverse women making them all valuable, the content clearly more important than the package.  It is important to ensure these varying experiences and cultures have the opportunity to be included on our teams,  as they will enrich the team's knowledge and performance.

In the world of law enforcement, we often focus on one attribute when addressing the challenges we face regarding how police respond to people of color.  We have implemented a number of programs to ensure a diverse police force, but the challenges remain.  Perhaps, we have failed to ensure that we have a more inclusive police force, one that is more clearly educated on how we are all different and how we come to respect each others differences.  The same is often true in most work places where decisions are made without any effort to control for our biases, biases we all have and are often not aware of.   The challenge is to ensure we are being self conscious about our implicit biases so we can work to prevent them from hindering our decision making and become more inclusive of others.  Dr. Stewart offered three rules for inclusion, here they are:

1. Get of of your comfort zone.
2. Seek out and respect other perspectives.
3. We are smarter together.

Perhaps it sounds a bit simplistic, but maybe it is just as simple as each of us working towards figuring out our individual biases and ensuring we are willing to address them by getting out of our comfort zones, welcoming the perspectives others have and recognizing the value of working together with those who may be the least like us.  My challenge to each of you is to be intentional about educating yourself on how to overcome your own biases and how to become a more inclusive leader.  I'll continue to share on the topic as I educate myself, starting with my next piece about the three types of biases Dr. Stewart discussed during his presentation.  Please remember to focus on the contents on not the package!  Just a little advice to go!

Matters of the Heart!

Each one of us knows the importance of monitoring your heart health to ensure a healthy and productive life.  Good leaders understand the importance of monitoring the heart’s health when it comes to their thoughts and desires. There is a bible scripture that I love, it states, “Out of the abundance of the heart, speaketh the mouth” (Luke 6:45). Ensuring your heart is in a good place is critical as it will determine what you think, say, and do.  It is precisely what dictates the type of leader you are and will continue to be.  

Good leaders understand the importance of addressing those past lived experiences that often result in anger and bitterness.  Failing to address these hurts leads to behaviors that are predicated on the toxic voices from within, which often result in inappropriate behavior.  Too many leaders, despite having achieved great success, go on to fail because of their unwillingness to address their past hurts and the resulting vulnerabilities.  They make the mistake of believing that if they simply say the right things, that will make up for all the wrong things that continue to haunt them.  In the end, the “fake it until you make it” approach does not last and they end result is “heart failure”, the inability to lead.  

Becoming a good leader means confronting the matters of the heart, dealing with past mistakes, seeking forgiveness when appropriate, and ensuring the toxic voices are silenced.  Good leaders are not defined by their past, but their past has refined them and helped them to become better people and in the end, better leaders.  They address the matters of the heart and learn to be real, to be the type of leader that focuses on honor, excellence, accountability, respect and teamwork. Just a little advice to go!

Servant Leaders Are Mindful of Others!

It is natural for us to be mindful of the daily situations we encounter and to do our best to respond to them as leaders. Sometimes we respond based on how we believe the situation impacts us as individuals without considering how the situation impacts those around us, particularly those we lead. We react based on the eggshells with which we have surrounded ourselves ensuring none are broken or damaged. It can make us defensive and focused on self, rather than the interdependence we as leaders should be mindful of.

Great leaders understand the value of each team member and the importance of ensuring they are cared for, mindful of the eggshells each has surrounded themselves with. As leaders we are responsible for helping team members pick up their eggshells, in other words address those areas of sensitivity that often make them defensive and insecure. Of course, we need to start by first addressing our own eggshells so that we are able to step forward with the confidence and courage it takes to lead, teaching others how to navigate past their own eggshells.

I challenge each of you to picture yourself surrounded by eggshells and trying to walk through them without crushing them. What are those eggshells in your life, those areas of insecurity that often lead you to be insensitive, self focused, out of sync with your emotions, and unable to see beyond yourself. It is a challenge which I pray about each morning as I rise and celebrate the gift of a new day. How can I be more committed to the needs of others, a servant leader rather than a self serving leader? Each day I struggle to pickup the eggshells and focus on what those I lead need more so than what I need, to serve with grace and humility. Please hold me accountable to these words, help me be true to the commitment I’ve made to serve!  Just a little advice to go!

Be Resilient!

I can tell when I am really tired and letting stress get to me.  I start to sound like the nagging kid that moans and groans about every little thing.  Yes, I hate to admit it but despite all my efforts to not be that guy, I can easily become that guy.  Fortunately, I have team members who step in and give me the look, or say the word that let’s me know I’m being a bit melodramatic.  I do not always pick up on the cues right away, but the light bulb does eventually turn on and I figure out that I have put in too man y hours and need to get some rest.

If you are like me, you come home, lay down on the couch and watch the television in an effort to forget about everything, but that is just a different type of brain stimulator that often leaves you anything but relaxed.  I have come to realize the best way to relax is to find a quiet place, sit or lay down, and clear my brain of all the stressful thoughts.  It is a lot easier said than done, but if you stay focused it will help.  That may not work for you, perhaps for you a short walk or run helps.  The point is to avoid staying on empty, to recognize your resilience depends on your self care.  Find what works for you, the thing that relaxes and energizes you and make time for it.  Resilience is about having the energy, the wherewithal to bounce back to withstand the challenges and keep moving forward.  Being resilient means taking the steps to rest and reenergize yourself.  Be resilient!  Just a little advice to go! 

Half Glass Full Mentality

Most of us have heard about the half glass perspective, whether you view the glass as half empty or half full.  For those who see it as half full, the thought is they have a positive view of things as opposed to those who see it as half empty failing to recognize they have more than those with an empty glass.  It is a pretty simple way of reminding us to view our circumstances from a positive perspective, regardless of how challenging they may be.  It means adapting a half glass full mentality towards your daily journey through life.  It doesn’t mean you stop being human and don’t feel negative emotions, but rather that more often than not you will look at circumstances from as positive a perspective as you can.  You will focus on all you have achieved and how much more you will achieve as you work towards moving through and past life’s challenges.  

Take the time to think about how you are living your life, is it always focused on the negative?  Are you fixated on what could have been and thinking about if you had only done this instead of that?  Those are the half empty glass mentalities you want to avoid, particularly because outside of learning from past mistakes there is no reason to dwell on them.  Fact is there is nothing you can do about yesterday and so much more you can do about today.  Today is the most important day of your life as you can impact today to make sure tomorrow is a much better today when tomorrow arrives.  Focusing on a half glass full mentality enables you to focus on the positive of today and in the end will help you to fill your glass until it overflows.  Just a little advice to go! 

Choose Your Words Wisely!

Me and my big mouth, if you have ever said or thought these words we have something in common.  Yes, sometimes we speak before we think hence my adoption of Pastor Andy Stanley’s advice: be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Leaders should recognize that we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak, sometimes easier said than done.  Just as important, Leaders need to recognize that when they speak, they need to be very careful to choose their words wisely and control the emotions with which they are spoken.

As leaders, we cannot react without self awareness and self regulation.  We must think long and hard about the situation and how we can lift someone up rather than tear them down.  I often have said, no one is harder on me, than me; I truly don’t need anyone else to tell me I messed up.  This is the time when I need a true leader, someone who recognizes the current situation does not define who I am or dismiss my past successes.  A good leader seeks first to understand and then finds the right words to address the situation, often addressing the need for improvement while doing so by lifting the individual up.

Good leaders choose their words wisely in all situations, they are always thinking about how they can be a blessing to others.  They remember their words reflect their hearts, and focus on speaking truth with grace and concern for others avoiding bitter, angry, and malicious words.  Good leaders work every day to choose their words wisely!  Just a little advise to go!