There is nothing more competitive than seven boys living in a three-bedroom apartment struggling because of the poverty within which you are being raised. You are trapped in that apartment competing for your mother's attention, competing to see who gets served first so that the quantity of food on your plate isn't less because you are last, competing to see who can finish first just in case there is an opportunity for a second serving, competing to see who will get the next new pair of sneakers because the money isn't sufficient for all seven to so you take turns, and so forth. Yes, seven boys in a 3 bedroom apartment surviving off the income of a bartender, my dad's profession, leads to a great deal of competition, and that eventually leads to a battle to demonstrate that you know more than your siblings.
Imagine raising 7 boys pretty much all by yourself in a three-bedroom apartment. Seven boys who despite your greatest efforts never stop competing for your attention and love, who are always competing to demonstrate that each is more RIGHT than the other. With each of us only being about a year apart in age, we became competitive. So, what does this have to do with always being right? Well, the more competitive you become the more right you want to be and before you know it you are more focused on being right than doing right. Yes, being right becomes blinding and your determination to be right can lead to alienating yourself from others, who would occasionally appreciate your acknowledging they are right. It makes you defensive as others try to explain why you are wrong, blinding you to the opportunity to grow and learn from their experiences and knowledge.
Age has a funny way of helping us expand our minds and begin to realize that so many of the times we thought we were right, we were actually wrong or no more right than the other person. We believed we are right based on the knowledge we possessed at that point in our lives, but if that knowledge is flawed or based on a truth was not true, then we were wrong. With age comes wisdom, the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense, and insight. It is often associated with attributes such as unbiased judgment, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, and virtues such as ethics and benevolence. If you take time to think about past decisions you have made, you may begin to note how often you thought you were right and were not. You come to realize that it is not about being right all the time, but about recognizing when you are wrong and learning from that mistake. Perhaps you will realize, as I have, that being right is not as important as developing relationships with those around you and learning to celebrate when they are right. Appreciating the positions of others and recognizing that discourse about contradictory positions is not about who is more right, but about the opportunity to build relationships and learn from the experiences of others.
Today, so many are debating about why they are right and the other person is wrong, that discourse has become illogical and divisive. The need to prove that one position is more right than the other has resulted in the inability to think beyond the constraints of our own knowledge. We are too busy trying to be right, we can't even conceive the fact that we could be or are wrong. Today, I realize that there on more occasions thank I would like to admit, what I thought was right in the past was wrong. I look back and think how foolish I was and how I need to be very careful to not be so focused on being right, that I fail to see when I am wrong. Today, I am more than willing to let others be right and to respect where they are in their journey rather than focusing on always being right because that just isn't right! Just a little advice to go!
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